Sunday, October 12, 2003

Half Full, you heard me? Half fucking Full.

I'm worried. I'm going to fail school. I'm going to fail, for the first time in my life, a semester. Fuck this shit. Okay, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just worrying myself instead of doing something productive like trying to pass but... man, I'm GOING TO FAIL!

Breathe. All right. So there goes radio, unless he gives us an extention. And if he does, man.. Mr. kwek, be prepared to take off that belt and pull down your pants cause some serious cock sucking is going to be done. And then there's photojourn which I can pull through because I'm skilled like that. And then there's books. EXPECTATIONS ARE A BITCH. How? How?!?!?! I'm slacking off and there's 2 weeks of school left. I can't fail in my fucking last year?! Well I can, but if I did. My mom is going to ship me out of this country and into another one where I will fail generally. In life. Settling.

Had my weekly depressing talks with mash again. Talked and talked about love, life, news, religion, settling, marriage, kids and the list goes on. Man. Am I settling? At 19, am I settling? Do I want to settle? *shudders* Fuck this shit. Too much intensity to handle. I need to concentrate and pulling through this harsh week and then come around to the bigger issues of future.

I hate future.

::me:: at 11:26