Thursday, January 08, 2004

lion city without the mane

I'm home and it's been a exactly a week. Man. Life hasn't worsened or improved which is always nice. Although it's weird how things change, although you only see it in minor degrees. I quite like it. And running with the theme of changing in minor degrees, it's applying to me and ash as well. You only realise that actually, the change was quite quick - that is only after looking at it across time. Day to day however, I feel that we're slowly seperating our lives and finally become our own people. Although, I know for a fact he isn't ready yet but I am and have to and already in process and in fact, have achieved. So there. As simple as that. I love but I know we can't and I'm fine with it.

The little one inside is really little and so I'm not feeling as bad about it as I did when I first found out. Tomorrow's the big day and to be honest, I'm scared. I hate the idea of mad cramps and throwing up - which I have been doing every day for the past week. I can't keep anything down and it pisses me off because food is fucking good. Well. Never mind. And after going to the doctors yesterday, they weighed me and I've put on a fuck load of weight. I'm currently 60kgs. Can you believe it? I never thought I'd see the day. But it's all right. My tits are great so I hope I don't lose that after tomorrow. Tummy really needs to go though.

This is the lamest (strawberry like) post I've ever written. It's so blah and so straight forward and so not creative. How gross. Hai yah. But it's what needs to be said, logged and absorbed. Time to go.

::me:: at 20:45