Saturday, February 07, 2004

Allergic to happiness

Or so it seems at least. Considering the fact the past 4 days have been one of the best I've had in... ages, I've been throwing up all those days. All of it. Everyday. Didn't eat those 4 days because it would all come out. And today, I wake up with this ache in my heart and this all round terrible lousy useless feeling and I don't feel the slightest bit pukish. Fuck.

It's been brilliant. Why can't it go back to that. Why do I end up just fucking feeling like shit and that everything is so damn temporary. I go off with this random person and once I'm done with it, I go back to needing something new to suffice for the next 5 minutes. I fucking hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. All this breaking down. All this destructive behavious. All this 'fuck-it' mentality. All this fucking shit inside of me. Fuck Me.

I don't want to go on anymore. I need to get rid of myself

::me:: at 01:50