Tuesday, May 04, 2004

red on white

It's been an odd kind of day. I've been in a bad way for most of it. Something doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is besides the very obvious other things.

something new is abrew and i wonder what it is.

i spent a good part in the shower, crying. without reason. just fucking hurting inside and my head's just going 'what the fuck is going on now? i don't understand this. stop crying stupid girl. what the fuck is all that for?' and i just continue. and it's not right that i've been randomly stopping at a blank space of wall and wonder what it would look like if i just threw my head back and SLAMMED against it. how would my skull crush in and how far will the blood splatter go?

so it's just not right. everything's just not right. i've been speechless. i've had nothing to say. it's been an odd kind of day. and i feel like i've lost something that i never had in the first place. it's stupid, childish and has no basis whatsoever. stupid. fucking stupid. well whatever.

okay, this is getting pointless. fuck.

"this is pointless"

fuck you, i know.

::me:: at 10:43